I want this blog to become something my child can keep when I am no longer here, a small record of choices I made and lessons I carried. Some of those lessons came from the way I planned my own engagement party and wedding reception in 2017. They were meaningful days, but I made several decisions that I hope my daughter will not repeat.
At my engagement party, I did not hire a professional makeup artist or hairstylist. I wore a simple kebaya, which was fine, because simplicity can be beautiful. The problem was not the kebaya. It was the lack of care in how I prepared myself. A professional touch helped me feel more polished and confident.
There was also the matter of the gift. Traditionally, the future husband gives a meaningful gift, often a gold ring. In my case, I ended up buying my own necklace, a titanium piece with a fragile stone that broke not long after. It is no longer with me. I want my daughter to know that a symbolic gift is not about price. It is about intention and respect, not just 'yang penting ada'.
My wedding reception itself still feels warm in my memory. It was simple, intimate, and graceful. The challenge was that I planned everything on my own. As a result, my cousin had to keep asking questions during the event, and I found myself dividing my attention between being a bride and being an organizer. Since my daughter is also an only child, just like me, I suggest hiring a wedding organizer. It allows you to be present, to enjoy the moment fully, and to leave the logistics in capable hands.
These are small lessons, but they shaped the way I think about preparation, intention, and care. I write them here so she can learn from them, or at least understand why her mother made the choices she did.
This lesson also carries into choosing a partner. Do not settle for the bare minimum or for someone who only happens to be there. Choose someone who does not make you feel as if everything must begin from zero. Begin at five or even ten, so you have room to grow and build a fuller life.
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