Religion is emotional and personal, every person has their own journey and you don't have to right have to intervene.
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The ups and downs of me
I used to be a religious girl. When I was in high school, I follow religiously what the ustaz told me to. I did sunnah fasting every Monday and Thursday, zikr and perform du'a. Everything went great until I met some people in my college. I was a curious girl who have questions about spirituality. I raised questions about God because I want to connect with Him. At that time, I don't want to follow my religion without knowing who I worship. Unfortunately, these people didn't accept my questions. They cut off the conversation and forced me to believe without questions.
One of the questions I raised was, "Why people are fanatic about their religion?" I am curious because why do people easily put the label 'kafir' to everyone outside their religion. I am also curious why people get offended easily at everyone, for instance, eating in front of the fasting people.
My friend replied, "Huh? We indeed must be fanatic about our religion!"
I was disappointed. I am not as religious as I used to be. Frankly, I started to think that I hate everything that relates to my religion. I couldn't find peace, I couldn't answer the spiritual curiosity urge within me. I felt lost but no one could help me.
I started to build the faith piece by piece slowly. I tried to find another ustaz that is can deliver the Islamic message with peace, with no judge. Nope, I can't stand with that kind of ustaz that always tells me that everybody outside Islam is kafir and we must fight them. I want to be taught by ustaz that can help me gain the knowledge Islam that is practical, relevant and balanced between having etiquette to Allah and to other people.
To me, religion is emotional and my heart is fragile. I must carefully pick a person that I know is knowledgeable and he/she can connect to my heart. And then I meet ustaz Aam Amiruddin. I follow his da'wah via Zoom or social media. He can deliver the preach in a relaxed way and relevant to daily life. He always emphasizes and he can show me that Islam is not complicated. And the most important is I don't feel judged.
Thank you, but it is none of your business
I know that some people have the spirit to invite me to the goodness, to the sisterhood, by preaching to me how to act, urge me to wear a hijab, how to wear clothes or decide that I shouldn't follow certain ustaz because of a particular reason.
Yes, thank you for the warning but I don't need that. I don't ask your advice. Let me do this journey on my own. I know what's good and what's bad for me. It just makes me lost respect for you. If you really care, please just say my name in your prayers. Maybe we can see each other in a better place in the future.
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